Poor Lost Outcast
by pfjm3
Summary: I fell in love with the Booyah Effect's 'cute girl' Pansy Parkinson's daughter on Platform nine and threequarters. This is the story of her first weeks at Hogwarts.


A/N – This is for The Booyah effect, who created and owns the 'cute girl. Thank you so much.

Disclaimer. I own nothing. The great JKR and Warner Brothers do.

Poor Lost Outcast.

She stepped on the Hogwarts Express with mixed feelings. Her mother had told her that all that mattered was that she be proud of herself and her heritage; her mother's acquaintances had told her that it was vital to forget her Muggle father. Also, it was vital to get into Slytherin House. This did not worry Primula so much; it had, after all, been her mother's house. But her father. Poor, stupid Muggle he was. But he loved Primula, and she loved and treasured those times that she saw him. She never did discover why her mother and father had split; when he came to her house to pick her up, the pair were barely polite. He was a foreign correspondent for the _Guardian _newspaper; he spent much of his time abroad, so Primula did not see him as often as she liked. She always read everything he wrote, though.

She found herself a compartment on the train, and settled down. Unusually for a witch's child, she had already had some education. She had been sent to Fernside Primary School when she was four, and she had enjoyed it. In fact, she had done well there. Too well, in many ways. Because she was considered a swot, a geek and Teacher's Pet, she made few friends. So, she read. Anything she could get her hands on. Being a witch, her mother had never come across most of what she got her hands on, and had no idea whether it was suitable reading for her. She borrowed books from the adult section at Greenwich Library, telling the librarian that they were for her poor, sick mother. The librarians had loved her; they always had a smile and a sweet for 'the lovely, cute girl who cared so much for her mother'. Her mother, Pansy Parkinson, did not even know where Greenwich library was.

Just before leaving for Hogwarts, her teacher at Fernside, who had been told that Primula had won a scholarship to a leading boarding school (true, but Pansy, of course, never said which school!) gave her a Muggle book token. Primula had already read _Lord of the Flies _and _To Kill a Mockingbird, _but she loved them, and wanted copies for herself. Easily done, with the book token. She loved Scout (_To Kill a Mockingbird_), and wished she could be like her, and have a dad like Atticus. She still wanted her mum, of course. She had seen the old black-and-white film, and imagined Pansy married to Peter Finch. And Scout always made her cry, most especially the part when her prattling saved Atticus from the lynch mob.

Unfortunately for her, it was just this section of the book that she was reading, tears streaming down her face, when her compartment was invaded by two boys and a girl, all obviously new like herself.

"What have we here" said the taller, more sallow-faced, boy. "A poor little crybaby crying for Mummy?"

Primula looked up. She showed the boy the book. "Its sad" she said.

The boy snatched it from her. He looked at it for a few moments. "Muggle rubbish" he exclaimed scornfully. "I suppose that you're one of those filthy mudbloods we've been warned about". He threw the book on the floor.

Primula said nothing. She picked her book up from the floor, and hid her face in her hair. Now she was crying for her book as well as for Scout. It had been so new and pristine. Now the cover was creased, and it would never be perfect again.

"Anything from the Trolley" was the next thing she heard. She looked up to see a middle aged witch pushing a trolley loaded with savouries, sweets and cakes. She also saw her three tormentors disappearing. Her mother had told her about this trolley. "Buy yourself some Cauldron Cakes and some Chocolate Frogs. You'll like them" Pansy had said. She felt in the pocket of her jeans for some money, and brought some of each.

"I'm pleased that I've caught up with you. We love those Cauldron Cakes. Could I buy some more?" A sweet-faced girl with bushy red hair was outside the compartment. Having obtained her cakes, she looked at Primula. "Are you new, too?" she asked. "Missing home?"

There was none of the sneering disdain that she had heard from the sallow-faced boy. Primula again showed the book and explained her tears.

"You read Muggle books" exclaimed the girl with delight. "Few of us do. I love them. Have you read any Phillip Pullman? He knows nothing of real magic, of course, but his books are just fantastic…" Like Scout, she prattled on, in this case about the books she had read. Primula just had to say "Yes, "No" and similar things at appropriate times. Also like Scout's, the prattling had good effect. When the girl eventually said "Well, I'd better get these back to the rest. Enjoy your book. See you at school", Primula was able to meet her eyes and give her a genuine smile in response.

xxxxx

The train arrived at Hogwarts station in the dark, and it was pouring with rain. The first thing Primula heard when getting off the train was a loud voice shouting "First Years! First Years! First Years this way". She joined the small crowd of her peers and left the station platform with them, getting into small two-man boats. The boats set off magically as soon as the person doing the shouting was satisfied. He was a tallish man in his mid thirties, and Primula had actually seen him before – behind the bar of the Leaky Cauldron on the day that her mother had taken her to Diagon Alley to get her school supplies. Her first visit there. That had been a magical day (except that her mother had insisted on going there on Muggle buses. There wasn't even a direct bus from Greenwich. They had to change near the Houses of Parliament).

At first, especially because of the teeming rain, the boat ride was rather frightening. She eventually calmed herself, and actually begun to enjoy the ride in the rocky gully when the first sight of her new home, Hogwarts, took her breath away. It was stupendous. Pansy had told her daughter about this also, but nothing could prepare her for a sight like that.

On arrival at the school, the extremely wet first years were taken to wait outside the Great Hall until called for. When requested, they entered the hall as a group. On their arrival, the Headmaster, a tall, elderly, stern looking man, stood up.

"I am Professor Archimedes Zinta, and I am Headmaster of Hogwarts" he said. "First Years, you will now be sorted into houses. The Sorting Hat will tell you about these Houses, and you will be called forward one by one. You will put the hat on, and it will tell us your allocated House. But, before you are all Sorted, I want you to look around you at those who are joining Hogwarts with you. At Hogwarts, your House will be very like a family. There has always been a tradition of House rivalry at Hogwarts. You will gain and loose points for your House by your behaviour, and I hope you show loyalty to the House that you are Sorted to. But those joining Hogwarts with you might be called your extended family. You are all sharing something very special. By all means, make good friends with those in your House. But, also, make friends outside your House, especially with some of those sharing a great privilege with you".

After a few moments, the Sorting Hat, which had been placed on a small stool, drew itself up, and recited a poem extolling the virtues of the Houses; Hufflepuff, loyalty; Griffindor, courage; Slytherin, cunning and Ravenclaw, knowledge. The man had ferried them to Hogwarts, who had identified himself as Professor Longbottom, then unrolled a scroll of names, and the students began the process of getting Sorted.

Primula noticed that the kind, bushy haired girl was called Rose Weasley. She was Sorted into Griffindor House The sallow-faced bully was Decimus Bulstrode. He went to Slytherin, to Primula's dismay. Eventually it was her turn. She walked forward and put the hat on her head.

"Introverted. Sad. But, a beautifully ordered mind. A Parkinson. Parkinsons usually go into Slytherin…."

"Yes, please" thought Primula to the voice in her mind. Put me in Slytherin. Please".

"No. You will end up very unhappy there. You're a bit timorous, so, not Griffindor. Much too intelligent for Hufflepuff, so, it must be…. Ravenclaw". This last word was shouted out for the Hall to hear.

Primula burst into tears. She hardly realised that her new schoolmates on the Ravenclaw benches were clapping her and calling her over. Once seated with her new 'family', she made the appropriate responses when spoken to, but said little herself. She felt lonely and abandoned.

In the dormitory that night, with the four other girls Sorted to Ravenclaw, she was equally taciturn. They were full of excitement for the new adventure beginning tomorrow; she still felt betrayed and outcast. Why was she not in Slytherin? What would her mother think? What was she going to do?

She had made enquiries the previous night about sending an Owl home. In the morning, she got up early, went to the Owlery with a quill and parchment and sent a despairing Owl to her mother. She then had breakfast, and followed her peers to her studies. Sadly for her the first of these was Potions. Professor Gadolinius Molesworth was a tall man with the beginnings of a paunch. He had short, dark spiky hair and appeared to dislike everyone.

"You will need to pay attention to everything I say, since much of what we do is actually dangerous" he begun. "I will not tolerate slackness or slapdash work. Badly made potions can kill you, or, worse, actually explode and harm others. This would not be acceptable, so you will do everything that I tell you to the letter. You will pay attention…"

Primula had been looking at the bench in front of her, musing about how similar it was to the science benches in the Muggle secondary school she had had a tour of as part of her last year at primary school. A well-aimed piece of chalk hit her on the head.

"Name, girl?" growled the professor.

"Err err Primula Parkinson"

Well, Primula Parkinson, you were obviously not paying attention. What was I saying?

"You were telling us just how dangerous Potions could be, and to be very careful with them and do everything you say" said Primula.

"So you do listen. Do you bother to read before you come to my lessons? Tell me. Why should you not use love potions to establish a lasting romance?"

"They are not permanent. They wear off, and need renewing. Libatus Borrage points out that they should really be called 'lust potions', since they don't give long term love"

"Well, yes" responded Molesworth, apparently mollified. You have actually looked at your book before you got here. I wonder how many of the rest of you bothered…"

There followed a question and answer session for the whole group. A few other students had actually looked at their books, and were able to produce some answers. Very few, though. After the class, Primula overheard one boy remarking to his friend that 'the pug faced cow had made them all look stupid'.

The rest of her day was no better. She kept her mouth shut in lessons, and only spoke when spoken to.

The following day she had her first Herbology lesson with Professor Longbottom, who had taken them all across the lake. At the end of the lesson, she went to speak to him about the thing uppermost in her mind.

"Professor, how do I change Houses?" she asked.

He looked at her and smiled. "Now, why would you want to do that?" he responded. You have only been here a day. Give Ravenclaw a chance. 'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure'. The Sorting Hat must have seen that in you".

"All my family were in Slytherin" said Primula. That's where I want to be".

"The Sorting Hat put me in Griffindor" replied the professor. "I didn't think that I had any courage at all". He laughed. "I still don't. Others say though, that I did when it mattered. Sadly, no one can change Houses once sorted. The only thing I can promise you is that, strange though some of its decisions might seem, the Sorting Hat is always right. Now, get along to your next class, or you'll be late".

xxxxxx

Things did not improve for Primula during the next week. She had never been one to make friends easily, and did not really try. She reverted to her 'defence mechanism', reading and going into a world of her own, which in some ways did not hep at all. She read well ahead in her schoolwork, was easily able to answer questions before everyone else and became known as a know-all and a swot – just as she had at Fernside. The Owl from her mother congratulating her for being Sorted into Ravenclaw did not help; she felt that she belonged in Slytherin, her mother could not help her, no one could.

Why bother staying here, where she was so unhappy? Why not go home, learn a little magic from her mother and go to a Muggle school? That way she would at least have Greenwich library and the fiction that she loved escaping into. She would have her mother, who, if she did not really understand her, would at least talk to her. Primula was beginning to develop thoughts along these lines. But how to get home? Magical transport was not an option. She would be stopped. But Primula knew more about Muggle transport than possibly most other Hogwarts students. Two miles from Hogsmeade village was a main road; a bus route to take her to Glasgow ran down that road five times a day, as she had found out from Professor Hagrid, who occasionally used it. From Glasgow she could get a train for London. Living among Muggles as her and her mother had, she was accustomed to Muggle money, and had loved the feel of the crisp, fresh Muggle banknotes her mother had got at Gringots bank on their visit to Diagon Alley, and she had kept some of them. Surely she had enough to get home? If not, she would go to a Muggle Police station, tell them that she was lost and where she came from, and get them to help her.

So, only nine days after her arrival at Hogwarts, she was leaving. She left on a Saturday, since there were no lessons and her absence would not be noticed. She had been in the habit of getting up early anyway; that she did so this morning would not be noticed. It took her about an hour to walk to the main road Professor Hagrid had told her about. When there, she found out that she did not know as much as she thought she did. She stopped a bus going in the wrong direction. Then she had a two-hour wait for the right bus. This did not really worry her; she had _Lord of the Flies _to enjoy while she waited.

xxxxxx

Primula's unhappiness and reservation had not gone unnoticed, however. Two days earlier, it had been the subject of a staff room conversation between Neville Longbottom and the Head of Ravenclaw House, Professor Vector. This was later taken up by the pair of them with the headmaster, Professor Zinta. This had two results; the senior Ravenclaw prefect, Jacinth Ramsey, was asked to 'keep an eye on' Primula. Not to be intrusive, just make sure that she was all right. The second was that Rose Weasley found herself invited to have a cup of tea with Professors Longbottom and Hagrid in Greenhouse One on Friday afternoon.

"Yer know tha' little Ravenclaw, Primula Parkinson?" asked Hagrid. "She's havin' a bad time. Don' get nosy, like, but if yer could say 'hello' to her sometimes it would be nice".

Rose said that she had met her on the Hogwarts Express, and that, indeed, they could have things to talk about.

"We both love Muggle books" said Rose. "But she won't talk to anybody, and everyone thinks she is a know-all…"

Hagrid laughed. "Don' you go tellin' her I said so, but tha's exactly what they thought of your mum. It took a troll in the lav to change tha".

Rose looked astounded. She had not, in fact, heard of that particular exploit. Whatever Hagrid said, she was certainly going to ask her mother about it. She agreed to try to talk to Primula, and to try to draw her out a little.

So, it was not surprising that Primula's absence was, in fact, noticed within about an hour of her departure. It was Jacinth Ramsey who actually raised the alarm, going to Professor Vector once she noticed her absence at breakfast, and, having enquired of Primula's dormitory mates and looked in the library and not found her. As Primula had thought, the first thought was for magical transport. Once Professoor Zinta had been informed, checks showed that she had not used the Floo network, and nor had she used the Knight bus. They were mystified until Hagrid, having heard of the disappearance, told them of Primula's interest in local Muggle transport. Now they had another difficulty. There was no way to check this whilst at Hogwarts. They reasoned, correctly, that Primula would go to Glasgow on the bus and then get a Muggle train. But someone would have to go to Glasgow to stop her.

Professor Molesworth had lived in Glasgow for a time before starting work at Hogwarts. Because Hagrid could not legally apparate, Professor Zinta, once the situation was clear, asked him to apparate to somewhere safe near the city and intercept Primula at the railway station.

xxxxxx

Primula actually enjoyed the bus ride to Glasgow. The Scottish countryside was beautiful, and the area through which the bus travelled was particularly lovely; rolling grassy hills one minute, flat as a pancake and forested the next. She had no problem negotiating the short walk from the bus station to the railway station. When she went to the ticket office, however, she got a very unpleasant surprise. A tap on her shoulder was followed by Professor Molesworth saying "You had better come with me. I think the Headmaster would like a few words with you".

Primula's reply, "I'm bloody certain that the old fool does" did not help.

"Whatever else, ten points from Ravenclaw" said Professor Molesworth. "You'd better improve your attitude, young lady".

Molesworth took her back the way that she had come; Muggle bus to the road near Hogsmeade, then the walk. He did not say a word to her all the way. Primula found the whole experience disheartening. She found that she could not even read her book on the bus with Professor Molesworth sitting next to her looking as grim as he ever did. He said nothing to her except to ask for her help to pay the Muggle bus driver – apparently he did not usually use either Muggle transport or money.

"What's this here, then" asked the Muggle driver when Primula offered him a fifty pound note, provided by the Professor, for the two fares. "I only want ten pound fifty. I'm just starting. How do you expect me to change that?" Primula, who had met this sort of reaction when travelling on Muggle transport in London with her mother, reached into her pocket and offered some lower value notes, which were accepted. When he saw the fifty pound note being returned to Molesworth, he gave her a wink, saying "Make sure you get it back from your dad later. Don't let him do you out of your pocket money" Molesworth completely ignored the exchange.

xxxxxx

On their return to Hogwarts, Professor Molesworth led Primula through the busiest part of the school to the Headmaster's office. Waiting there were Professor Zinta and her Head of House, Professor Vector.

"Thank you so much Gadolinius. It was good of you to take so much trouble when you are not even Head of House, and on your day off", said Professor Zinta. It was an obvious dismissal; with a last look of dislike at Primula, Professor Molesworth left.

"Now let's see" said the Headmaster. "Sit down Primula. When was the last time that you had something to eat or drink? Did you have any breakfast before your expedition?" He saw Primula shake her head. He waved his wand, and a tea trolley appeared. Then he reached up for a battered old tin. "Cup Cakes" he said. "I love them; never eat anything else as a snack". He poured three cups of tea. "Would you like a Cup Cake, Septima? The House Elves kindly make them for me. They all look the same, but all have different flavours. Bit like Berrtie Botts beans. A surprise in every bite". Primula.s Head of House refused. "Now, you Primula. You'll have one I'm sure. I wish I had some chocolate to give you after your experience…."

At this point, Professor Zinta broke off. He saw that Primula had put her face in her hands and started crying.

"Don't do that, Primula" he said gently. "I know that things are difficult, but we'll sort them out. Septima, I think that you had better go to Poppy and get some chocolate. Would you mind?".

Professor Vector left the office. "Why are you being so kind to me?" demanded Primula, anger eventually getting the better of her sobbing. "Get on with the punishment bit".

"Primula, we aren't stupid. We know what you did and why you did it. We aren't interested in punishing an unhappy girl who does something stupid. If you go around the school bragging about what you have done, I might have to change my mind. I will have to send an Owl to your mother, but I will remind her of certain things, and tell her that if she sends a Howler, I will try to intercept it. The School, of course, already know what has happened, but there is no need to embarrass you any further. I think that you will find that if you say nothing, it will just blow over".

"Is that all, then" said Pansy. "Everything stays the same? I have to stay here, and I can't join Slytherin?"

"If either leaving here or joining Slytherin was your aim, you will be sadly disappointed" said the Headmaster rather more sternly. "If I really thought that those were your aims, I would be thinking of punishments. As it is, Professor Hagrid needs some help on Saturday afternoons for the next six weeks. The rest of the School might think of it as detention, but I think you will enjoy it. He wants to check the unicorn foals, and will need a girl to help him. As for leaving here, that is for your mother to decide, not you. I rather doubt that she will think it a good idea. As for Slytherin, Professor Longbottom has already told you that that is impossible. Now, please, you tell me yourself why you did what you did".

Primula told Professor Zinta about everything that had upset her whilst at Hogwarts. During their conversation, Professor Vector arrived with the chocolate. Primula had some and began to feel better. Eventually, Primula reached the end of her story.

"I wish I hadn't had to send Professor Molesworth for you" said Professor Zinta thoughtfully. "He's an excellent teacher and really knows Potions, but I would have liked someone more sympathetic. He sees you all as children. You are beginning to think of yourselves as adults. You are both wrong, but when you realise why, you will be truly adult. Never mind. I think we have said all that is necessary. You may either join your schoolmates for supper, or I will arrange for something to be at Ravenclaw tower for you. Please remember that if I hear of any boasting of your exploits, I will change my mind about punishment".

Primula opted to eat in Ravenclaw Tower. Other than their normal cursory acknowledgements of her presence, none of her 'family' said anything to her. The same happened at breakfast the following day. Even the Slytherins, usually quick to pick up on the misery of others, left her alone. During the day she went to see Professor Hagrid, to arrange her Saturday afternoons.

"Its really good of yer to help out" said Hagrid to her." I can't do it by mysel'. The Mothers, they get upset with me. But with you, no trouble". They arranged to meet at Hagrid's hut at one o'clock Saturday.

On Monday came the Owl from her mother. No real condemnation ("I wonder what old Zinta said to her" thought Primula. "She'd normally be really on my case"). Just "Please, please, don't do that again. If the School had had to tell me that you had run away and they didn't know where you were, I don't know what I would do. Just take care of yourself. Send me an Owl immediately promising that there will be no repeat".

Primula did so, and life continued as normal. She still said little to anyone. She did actually start to wait to be asked questions in class, rather than always putting herself forward with the answers. She was proud enough to try to work out answers before they were given, though, and took inordinate pleasure in being almost always right.

xxxxxx

During her second Saturday checking on unicorn foals, Hagrid and Primula were joined by Rose Weasley. "Yer late" said Hagrid to her. "Just because we have a cup of tea now and then doesn' give you the right to be late for my detention".

"Sorry, Professor" said Rose.

They got on with the work; examining each beautiful golden foal as they found it. Primula had learnt a lot from Hagrid the previous Saturday, and they spoke to each other knowledgably about the foals and their mothers. When they finished, they went back to Hagrid's hut, and had a cup of tea with him.

"Unless you have very good teeth, don't touch the rock cakes" Rose whispered to Primula. "I think he uses real rock dust to bake them". Primula almost laughed out loud at the remark.

On their way back to school, Rose asked Primula about how she knew so much about unicorns.

"Professor Hagrid told me about them last Saturday" said Primula.

"But, you've remembered so much" said Rose. "I can't remember half of what you and Professor Hagrid said today".

"I suppose that I've got one of those minds that remember things easily. Some people do. It's nothing clever"

"But you are clever" said Rose. "Most of us are struggling, but you seem to sail through everything"

"I don't have much else to do but read".

"But how do you get those Potions right? With old Molesworth peering down, expecting me to make mistakes, I usually do".

Primula felt a very unusual emotion for her. She actually wanted this pleasant, outgoing girl to think well of her, perhaps to like her. "If you like, I could try to help you with your Potions" she said.

xxxxxx

At the beginning of December, Hermione Weasley was surprised to get a request to meet Pansy Parkinson in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic, where she worked. Mystified as to why Pansy would want to speak to her, she went to see her.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me, Mrs Weasley" said Pansy.

"For Merlin's sake, Pansy, we were at Hogwarts together. Mrs Weasley is Ron's mother. I'm certainly not going to call you Miss Parkinson. Call me Hermione".

"Alright, thank you" said Pansy. "You and I were never friends, and probably never will be. But you have an exceptional daughter. My Primula has never really made friends with anyone. My fault, probably. But her Owls are full of 'Rose Weasley'. Its 'Rose did this' 'Rose helped me with that'. Primula would very much like to see Rose over Christmas. You might know that we live in Greenwich. It's actually quite lovely, and Primula would like to show it to Rose. If you permitted it, she would be very welcome to stay for a couple of nights".

The End.

A/N. If you got this far, please review my first fanfic..


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